This is a gift, it comes with a price

In 1292, Pope Nicholas IV died and Rome lost its shit for two years while they tried to get a new one elected. A hermit named Pietro Angelerio (who loved Jesus almost as much as he hated being around other people) wrote them a letter saying God was going to get really pissed if they didn’t elect someone soon. In response, they elected him.

No one was thrilled, but everyone was pretty okay with the choice, with the notable exception of Pietro Angelerio, who apparently cried and tried to run away when they came to tell him he was pope.

He took the name Celeste V, and spent the next five months hating his job with a passion. Finally, he decided to resign, encouraged by Benedetto Gaetani. Pietro peaced out and was looking forward to spending the rest of his life living in a cave. Benedetto was promptly made pope, took the name Boniface VIII, and imprisoned Pietro for fear that he’d be elected the antipope (which is not like a Bizarro Pope, sadly). Pietro was imprisoned and died ten months into it.

He was eventually sainted, though, and Boniface died of kidney stones. Papal karma?

[Screaming internally]